Dating, or trying to find that ever-perfect match: is it out there?

Tonight, we have a date.

Our friend Dottie wanted so very badly to set us up with him. "You guys are perfect for each other!" she said. One skeptical eyebrow raised (from my face) (in her direction) prompted her to spill out all his perfect qualities that made her to want to set us up in the first place. (Setups? Who needs 'em? Seriously.)

"You're both young..." Here, right out of the gate, she makes a mistake that is often made in our general direction. Married with no kids = young. Ha! As if! My dentures fell into my lap and my hip spontaneously popped out of its socket just to prove my point. We. Are. Old.

"He just got married and his wife is so cute..." I guess, we "just" got married too? Haven't we been married for like 10 years? Oh wait, no. It just feels like 10 years because we're so old. And am I a cute wife? Are we supposed to become fast friends with other newlywed couples sporting cute wives? Now I'm nervous and sweaty - definitely not characteristics of a cute wife.

"He's a member of the Church, and that was just so important to me when I was looking for someone." It's like my friend Marisa says: Just because you're single and someone else is single, does that mean you have to go on a blind date with them? Just because you're Mormon and someone else is Mormon, does that mean you have to be friends with them? Yes, because Mormons are nice and friendly to everyone, of their faith and not of their faith. Jell-O eaters and non-Jell-O eaters alike.

"He's, he's, he's just," she gushed, "he's just so great! You will love him!"

So I said to her, "Dottie, what is his name?"

"Well, his name is Seth."

And I said: "Ah. We have already met Seth. In fact, we had lunch in June, and soon we have a date with him again. Thursday, in fact."

"Oh good!" she exclaimed. "Now I feel much better about your plans."

And now I'm nervous. Are we young enough? Am I cute enough? Are we Mormon enough? I haven't been out on a date like this before. Do we bring flowers? What do we wear? What if we don't like what he has to offer? What if he doesn't like what we have to offer? What if we don't like where he takes us? Is it impolite to ask him to take us somewhere else?

I'm just not sure because we've never been out with a realtor before. I sure hope it goes well and he helps us find a house we like. Because if not, well, that would just be awkward. And who needs another awkward first date story for their dinner party repartee?

Not us.