Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding...

When I was in high school, I watched Saturday Night Live every week. That was back in the days with the hilarious Chris Farley and Mike Meyers. I stopped watching every week, but on occassion I caught a few funny episodes with Will Farrell (We need more cowbell!) and Molly Shannon here and there.

With Andy gone, my Saturday nights have not been super exciting, and the past few weeks I've started watching SNL once again. Granted, I DVR it and then record through the not-so-clean skits, but I have found a new favorite on good old SNL - Kristen Wiig.

I first saw her as "Penelope" when Amy Adams was hosting (yes, I missed her first two seasons and am now catching her in reruns). She's done a really great Suze Orman and a hilarious Jamie Lee Curtis in an Activa commercial. But by far the best character I've seen her do so far is as "Judy Grimes" on the Weekend Update.

Check her out I hope you enjoy her as much as I did. I laughed so hard I cried. Just kidding, I didn't. Just kidding, I can't cry. Just kidding, I can, just kidding, just kidding just kidding...

Can you make sense of this?

"The maximum number of voice compression channels supported, using IP500 VCM base cards and/or IP400 VCM cards on IP500 Legacy Card Carriers, is 128."

This is a sentence in a course I am currently instructionally designing at work. Did I write it? Uh, no. What does it mean? I'm not sure I could even tell you. My Subject Matter Expert (SME) in all things technical gave me some rough content, and I'm supposed to look at it and decide how it should be changed to be more clear. Can you change this sentence to be more clear?

Some days (like today), while I'm working, I have to stop and wonder what I'm doing. My career has (and many days fulfills) the potential to be incredibly boring. Sometimes it has been exciting, like when I was creating training for Valvoline and got to go down in the oil-change pit to see how they did it. Or the time I got to work on dealer training for BMW dealerships. And other times, it's all I can do not to staple my own finger, just to check that I'm still alive. (Yes, I am aware that there are probably less painful ways to determine my alive-ness, but I'm going for something a little more dramatic here.)

About an hour prior to reading this sentence, I sat on a last-minute conference call with my team at work. Three people on my team were laid off last Friday. This follows five whose contracts were not renewed in April. Of course, now everyone wonders: Am I next?

Corporate America has many great things - lots of money, working with really smart, driven, and accomplished people, free fitness centers, company cafeterias. (Okay, that last one can be hit or miss, but I've been to some pretty good cafeterias, namely at Sun Microsystems.) But today, after the second round of people were dismissed (in a most kind and apologetic sort of way of course), I sat here wondering what in the heck I'm doing in this career.

And then I looked out my living room window and remembered that I get to work at home, in my pajamas, with some pretty cool people (what's left of them of course). I get flexible hours, great pay, and I get to hear the birds chirping all day long and take walks through my neighborhood at lunchtime. I save money on gas because I don't drive into the office often, and I have access to a free gym. A lot of people would love to have those things. So for now, and for as long as it lasts, I will be grateful that I have such a great job. Even if I can't make sense of most of the jargon that comes my way.

A few things that make me happy

I love getting letters in the mail. Actual "I was thinking of you and thought I'd mail you this letter" letters. Even better than letters are packages. Getting a package you know is on its way is exciting, but the very best thing of all is to get a surprise package - one that is completely unexpected.

Yesterday did not disappoint. I came home late last night to find this little treasure in my mailbox, from one of my oldest and dearest friends.

Not only was it a surprise package, but it contained something to add to my (very small) collection of decorative letter As. I was so excited to find this in my mailbox yesterday, I did a little happy dance in my living room when I unwrapped it. Thanks, Janene, for seeing something that reminded you of me, and popping it in the mail. This made my day!

What I'm coveting now

The thought occurred to me today that this Kindle would have been really nice to have for my trip to India. Rather than dragging along seven books, I could have taken just the Kindle, which holds over 200 titles, and is very lightweight. I know my neck and back would have appreciated the lightened load; after lugging around all those books, I had huge knots in my neck. I'm definitely saving my money for a Kindle - what a brilliant idea!

The long flight home

Day 13: Thursday May 8, 5:30 am - Chicago International Airport

I made it - I'm back in America! That was the longest flight ever, and I did not think I was going to survive. The first five hours were fraught with turbulence, very rough turbulence, and eventually it calmed down. It was supposed to take only 14 hours, but it took us about 16 hours. Yuck.

And on this flight, I didn't even have Tetris to distract me - just a couple of movies and two noisy kids sitting next to me.

Despite all this, I was so grateful to walk off the plane and be in America. Now we just need to get Andy back over here.

India Andy

When I was with Andy in India, he carried the camera, so there are quite a few pictures of me. Well, since I don't like having my picture taken, there aren't a lot of pictures of me, but there are definitely more pictures of me than of him. I'm so glad that the people he is with have been taking pictures of him, because I think he's just adorable, er, I mean ruggedly handsome.


People are always telling Andy he just smiles so much. One of the things I love about him is his smile. Sometimes we'll be sitting there, and I'll look over at him, and he's got this big grin on his face. I love it! So I was quite pleased to go through the pictures on his camera and find these gems.
I thought I'd post them, so everyone can enjoy my India Andy.





Andy, I love ya, and I can't wait until your smiling face comes back home!

I have to say something about my hair in India

I am so vain when it comes to my hair. I don't have particularly great hair - it is either partially curly, or partially straight. It takes so much product and equipment to get it to look halfway decent, but I obsess over it every morning. Perhaps it stems back to my troubled youth, where I endured so many perms I eventually took drastic measures to completely straighten it, lest I continue looking like an electrocuted poodle.

I talked to Mandy about how I was going to do my hair in India. I hate nothing more than to have a photo album full of vacation pictures of me with nappy hair. Should I take my hair dryer? Will I be able to use my flat iron? Mandy assured me that as long as I had an adapter, I'd be fine.

Um, obviously the hair dryer and flat iron did not work, and I feel I need to let you know that yes, I am fully aware that my hair looks terrible. My hair is naturally curly-ish, which has the potential to be really great. However, it's curly in some spots, completely stick-straight in others, and frizzy all-around. This is not a good combination for vacation-with-no-working-hair-dryer-or-flat-iron-hair. But now that I've posted all these pictures, I want to take you through my vacation-hair journey, and to the point where I just gave up.

Bad Hair Day 1: Andy's hotel in Delhi

After my shower, I plugged my hair dryer into Andy's adapter. Okay, it's working, wait, it's slowly petering out. It's getting quieter, drying more slowly...crap. Am I going to break his adapter? So I took a break from drying and plugged in my flat iron to let it warm up. Not wanting to break my hair dryer, I decided to just put my hair in a bun and flat iron my bangs. I hate having bangs when I can't straighten my hair - I get these curly q's at my temples, and it's just not good. So I decide, "Okay, I'll wear a bun today and try again tomorrow."

Hair on day 1: I'm not loving it, but at least the bangs are straight.

Bad Hair Day 2: Our hotel in Agra

I attempted to blow dry my hair again, but the dryer petered out. I thought, "If I can just get my bangs dry, I'll be okay." When I plugged in my flat iron, the red light flashed on and then off and then - zap! Crap - could I have possibly blown a fuse? No, it's probably just not working with the adapter, right? One more bun, and this time, I had to pin my bangs out of the way.

Hair on day 2: Grrr....

Bad Hair Day 3: Our Hotel in Jaipur

I'm not even going to take a picture here, because it just looks so bad. I don't know why I even brought my hair dryer and flat iron; at this point, all they are doing is taking up space and making Mintu curse when he lifts my heavy luggage into and out of the car. Sorry, Mintu.

Hair on day 3: Can't I just shave my head? I think they do that in India. I guess that would make it pointless for me to be dragging around this hair dryer and flat iron.

Bad Hair Day 4: Our Hotel in Udaipur

I have accepted the fact that my hair is going to be in a perma-bun while on this vacation. It actually doesn't look too bad here, and I think that maybe I have found peace and acceptance in my frizzy bun, but once I arrive at Lake Palace and see all the women with shiny, straight hair, I glower with envy at their coiffed shininess.

Hair on day 4: Okay, I accept it. It's really not too bad. And besides, maybe they'll have hair dryers and working adapters at Lake Palace.

Bad Hair Day 5: Lake Palace in Udaipur

When we get to our room, Andy was so excited to tell me that there is a hair dryer. I can't wait until after my swim to blow-dry and straighten my hair. Did I mention how vain I am? I blow-dry my hair, and it is straight, but still a little poufy and frizzy. And I still have those curly-q's at my temples. No worry, I can plug in my flat iron. Um, except it's not working. I really blew a fuse a few days ago, and it won't work! Now I'm completely hosed. I think Andy is surprised how mad I can get just because my hair looks like crap, but I try to smile through my frustration and thank him for fudging with the adapter to get my flat iron working, although to no avail. In the morning after my head massage, my hair is shiny with grease. I didn't have time to wash it before we had to check out, so all day long, it's like a shellacked helmet, sticky and immovable. Uh, all right. I guess at least now it's shiny...

Hair on day 5: Ew.

Bad Hair Days 6, 7, 8, and 9: Goa

I give up. I wanted to look my best for Andy, for him to see his wife as he remembered me - straight, mostly shiny hair, brown streaked with golden highlights. But there is absolutely nothing I can do about this mop. Pinned in a frizzy bun, it will stay until I return to America. You can't even see my highlights.

Hair on days 6 through 9: We're at the beach, so I really don't even care.

Bad Hair Day 10: Delhi

What a mess. I can't believe I have to wear this hairdo on a 19 hour flight from Delhi to Chicago, and Chicago to Denver. Not only does it look awful, it is going to be so uncomfortable to lean back against my seat.

Hair on day 10: I can't wait to wash, dry, and iron my hair. Only 24 more hours!

Good Hair Day 1: Colorado

I can't take a picture of myself, but trust me, my hair looks good. Although I did blow a fuse, and my flat iron is no longer working. At least it's straight, somewhat shiny, and I'm feeling like myself again.